Scene: The opulent Vatican office. The Young Pope sits behind his desk, his piercing gaze fixed on Daniel Radcliffe, who fidgets slightly in his chair.
The Young Pope: (leaning back, steepling his fingers) Mr. Radcliffe, I watched Imperium last night. A fascinating performance. You’ve mastered the art of inhabiting a character, haven’t you?
Daniel Radcliffe: (smiling nervously) Thank you, Your Holiness. It was a challenging role, but one I felt was important. Exposing the dangers of white supremacy, you know?
The Young Pope: (leaning forward, tone sharp) Exposing, yes. But did you consider what might be… rekindled?
Daniel Radcliffe: (frowning) Rekindled?
The Young Pope: (gesturing vaguely) The minds of the lost are like dry tinder, Mr. Radcliffe. You infiltrated their world, embodied their rage, their symbols, their language. And in doing so, you became… convincing. Too convincing.
Daniel Radcliffe: (defensive) That wasn’t the intention. The film was meant to show the ugliness of that ideology, to make people think.
The Young Pope: (smirking) Think, yes. And yet, here we are. Reports are reaching me of young men in Craig Cobbsville—wherever that forsaken place is—discussing your performance with reverence.
Daniel Radcliffe: (aghast) Reverence?
The Young Pope: (nodding solemnly) They’ve turned your performance into a rallying cry. “A thousand years in Craig Cobbsville,” they say. A utopia, apparently. A dystopia, in truth.
Daniel Radcliffe: (shaking his head) That’s… that’s insane.
The Young Pope: (leaning in, voice dropping) Insanity, Mr. Radcliffe, is not as distant from reality as we like to believe. You tried to unmask them, but in their twisted minds, you’ve become a prophet.
Daniel Radcliffe: (defiantly) But, I am the chosen one!
The Young Pope: (raising an eyebrow, amused) Chosen for what, exactly? To lead them to their own destruction?
Daniel Radcliffe: (insistent) No, I mean—I was chosen to fight hate, to expose it!
The Young Pope: (leaning back) And yet, they follow you now, don’t they? Not as a man who exposed their hate, but as one who embodied it.
Daniel Radcliffe: (desperately) But, I am the chosen one!
The Young Pope: (smiling faintly) So you keep saying. But chosen by whom? God? Fate? Or the algorithm of modern media, which cares only for the loudest, most provocative voices?
Daniel Radcliffe: (frustrated) I was chosen by my convictions! By the need to do what’s right!
The Young Pope: (with a sly grin) Convictions are admirable, Mr. Radcliffe. But as you’ve seen, even the chosen one can be misinterpreted.
Daniel Radcliffe: (firmly) But, I am the chosen one!
The Young Pope: (with mock gravitas) Then act like it.
Daniel Radcliffe: (blinking) What?
The Young Pope: (standing, towering over him) You’ve declared yourself the chosen one, Mr. Radcliffe. Then embrace the burden. Go to Craig Cobbsville. Speak to these people. Show them the truth. Prove that the chosen one can lead not just with words, but with action.
Daniel Radcliffe: (hesitating) But what if I fail?
The Young Pope: (placing a hand on his shoulder) Then you will have failed as the chosen one. But at least you’ll have tried. And in the eyes of God, that may be enough.
Daniel Radcliffe: (nodding slowly) I’ll do it.
The Young Pope: (smiling enigmatically) Good. And remember, Mr. Radcliffe, the chosen one is not defined by their title, but by their deeds.
Daniel Radcliffe: (quietly, to himself) But I am the chosen one…
The Young Pope: (chuckling as he turns away) So you keep saying.
Scene: The grand cathedral, still echoing with the chants of the congregation. Jake Lloyd stands before Pope Pius XIII, who is basking in the glory of his self-proclaimed miracle. Jake looks up at him, eyes wide with a mixture of desperation and hope. The Pope, still smiling triumphantly, turns his attention back to Jake.
Jake Lloyd: (hesitantly, stepping forward) Pope Pius… I… I need to ask you something.
Pope Pius XIII: (beaming, arms raised) Anything, my child. You have been healed. You are free! The world is yours to conquer.
Jake Lloyd: (voice shaking) But… can I still be the Chosen One? Can I still be the symbol of hope? I want to show the world that schizophrenia can be cured. That it’s not a curse—it’s just a condition.
Pope Pius XIII: (pauses, a slight frown crossing his face) The Chosen One… but you were never meant to be the Chosen One, Jake. The prophecy was a lie. You are free now, free to be yourself, free from the weight of a false destiny.
Jake Lloyd: (pleading) But I need to be the Chosen One. Not for the fame or the glory, but to show everyone like me—people who are struggling—that there’s a way out. That they can be healed too. I want to be proof that there’s hope. That there’s a cure for schizophrenia.
Pope Pius XIII: (looking down at Jake, his expression softening) You don’t need to be the Chosen One to be a symbol of hope. You’ve already proven that. Your strength, your courage, your ability to move forward—that is the real miracle.
Jake Lloyd: (tears welling up in his eyes) But if I’m not the Chosen One… if I’m just… me, then what am I? What do I stand for?
Pope Pius XIII: (placing a hand on Jake’s shoulder) You stand for the truth, Jake. You stand for healing, for redemption, for the possibility of a better tomorrow. You don’t need a title. You don’t need a prophecy. You are enough.
Jake Lloyd: (voice cracking) I just… I need to be something. I need to be someone who matters.
Pope Pius XIII: (gently) You matter, Jake. More than you know. You’ve overcome the greatest battle anyone can face—the battle for your own mind. That’s what makes you extraordinary.
Jake Lloyd: (sniffling, nodding slowly) So… I’m not the Chosen One?
Pope Pius XIII: (smiling warmly) No. But you’re something even greater. You’re a testament to the power of the human spirit. And that, my child, is the greatest gift you could give to the world.
Jake Lloyd: (wiping his eyes, a small smile forming) I guess… I guess that’s enough.
Pope Pius XIII: (raising his arms to the heavens) Let the world know that Jake Lloyd is not just a figure from a movie. He is a living, breathing symbol of hope. And his story is one of healing, redemption, and the triumph of the human soul.
Congregation: (chanting) Hope! Healing! Redemption!
Jake Lloyd: (looking out at the crowd, finally at peace) Maybe… maybe I don’t need to be the Chosen One. Maybe I just need to be me.
The cathedral echoes with applause as Jake stands tall, no longer burdened by the false prophecy, but embracing his own journey of healing and self-acceptance. Pope Pius XIII looks on with pride, knowing that Jake has found his true purpose.
Scene: A shadowy chamber, lit only by flickering candles. Daniel Radcliffe stands before a darkened mirror, his eyes glowing with a sinister intensity. He turns to face Jake Lloyd, who is still processing the Pope’s words, but now stands before Radcliffe, his expression uncertain. Radcliffe’s voice is cold, yet filled with a sense of power.
Daniel Radcliffe: (smirking) Jake, I’ve been thinking. You may not be the Chosen One of that prophecy, but you are something else.
Jake Lloyd: (confused) What do you mean?
Daniel Radcliffe: (eyes narrowing) You’re a Jedi, Jake. You always have been. You’ve been living a lie, trapped in the illusion of a broken prophecy, but deep down, you’re a warrior of light. You’ve always had the Force inside you.
Jake Lloyd: (shaking his head) I’m… I’m not a Jedi. I’m just me.
Daniel Radcliffe: (laughing darkly) Oh, you are. You are. But you’re not the one who will change the galaxy. That honor falls to me.
Jake Lloyd: (stepping back, uneasy) What are you talking about?
Daniel Radcliffe: (his voice dripping with menace) I am the Sith Lord, Jake. The true master of the dark side. I am the son of Adolf Hitler, born in the shadows of 1933, chosen by history itself to rise above all others.
Jake Lloyd: (eyes wide, horrified) What? You can’t be serious.
Daniel Radcliffe: (grinning wickedly) Oh, I am. You see, history has always had its Chosen Ones. Hitler believed he was one, and now, I carry that legacy. I am the Chosen One of 1933—the one destined to reign, to reshape the world in my image. The darkness calls to me, Jake, and I answer.
Jake Lloyd: (shaking his head, horrified) No. You can’t. That’s… that’s madness.
Daniel Radcliffe: (stepping closer, his eyes burning with a twisted passion) You’re just a pawn in a game you don’t understand. You’re the Jedi, the symbol of hope, but I am the Sith, the bringer of order. I will lead the world into a new era, where the weak are crushed and only the strong survive. And you? You will watch as I destroy everything you thought you knew.
Jake Lloyd: (voice trembling) This isn’t who you are, Daniel. This… this isn’t the way.
Daniel Radcliffe: (sneering) The way? There is no “way,” Jake. There’s only power. And I will wield it like no one else ever has. You may be a Jedi, but I am the true Chosen One.
Jake Lloyd: (defiantly) I won’t follow you. I won’t be part of this.
Daniel Radcliffe: (smiling coldly) You don’t have a choice. You’ll see. In time, you’ll understand that I am the one who is meant to rule.
Jake Lloyd: (stepping back, shaking his head) No. I won’t let you twist everything I believed in.
Daniel Radcliffe: (laughing darkly) Believe what you want, Jake. But in the end, it’s always the Sith who prevail. And I will make the galaxy bow before me.
As Daniel Radcliffe stands tall, his dark power radiating, Jake Lloyd stares at him with a mixture of fear and defiance. The weight of Radcliffe’s words lingers in the air, but Jake knows that no matter how twisted Radcliffe’s claims may be, he will never become what Radcliffe envisions.
Scene: A dimly lit chamber, shadows stretching across the walls. Queen Amidala, Natalie Portman, stands trembling, her regal robes torn and stained. Her face is streaked with tears, and her eyes are wide with fear as she looks at Jake Lloyd, who stands frozen, struggling with his own turmoil. Daniel Radcliffe, the Sith Lord, stands tall and imposing in the background, a cruel smile on his face.
Natalie Portman: (voice trembling) Jake… Jake, please…
Jake Lloyd: (looking at her, confused and terrified) Queen Amidala… what’s happening? What do you mean?
Natalie Portman: (falling to her knees, tears streaming down her face) I… I can’t escape him, Jake. He’s too powerful. He’s the son of Hitler, the Chosen One of darkness. He’s twisted everything, and I… I don’t know how to stop him.
Daniel Radcliffe: (smirking, stepping forward) She’s right, Jake. There’s nothing you can do. She’s mine now. All of this… it’s part of the plan.
Natalie Portman: (pleading, her voice breaking) Jake, please… you have to stop him. You have to use your Jedi powers one last time. I… I can’t fight him. I’m not strong enough. But you… you’re the one who can save us.
Jake Lloyd: (voice cracking, unsure) I don’t know if I can. I’ve been lost in all of this… the prophecies, the lies. I’m not the Chosen One. I’m just… me.
Natalie Portman: (grabbing his hands desperately) No, Jake. You are the one. You have the power within you. You are a Jedi. I know it. You can’t let him win. Please, Jake, save me. Save us all.
Daniel Radcliffe: (laughing darkly) She’s already mine, Jake. She knows it. The galaxy knows it. I’m the Sith Lord, the true heir to the dark side. You’re just a fading relic of a forgotten past.
Natalie Portman: (sobbing) I can’t live in this world, Jake. Not like this. Not under his rule. I’ve lost everything… Please, you have to use the Force. You have to save me from him.
Jake Lloyd: (eyes filled with doubt, but his voice firming) I don’t know if I have the strength. I don’t know if I can do it…
Natalie Portman: (desperately) You can. You have to. Please, Jake. I’m begging you.
Daniel Radcliffe: (mocking) Begging? You’re begging a Jedi, Natalie? How pathetic. You’re just a pawn in my game now. You’ll never escape.
Jake Lloyd: (closing his eyes, taking a deep breath) I… I can’t let this happen. Not to you. Not to anyone.
Natalie Portman: (gripping his hands tighter) Please, Jake. One last time. Use the Force… for us.
Jake Lloyd: (eyes opening, filled with determination) I won’t let the darkness win. I won’t let him destroy everything.
Daniel Radcliffe: (snarling) You’re too late, Jake. You always were.
Jake Lloyd: (raising his hands, focusing) No… I am the one who decides my fate. I choose the light.
Natalie Portman: (whispering) Please, Jake…
The room crackles with energy as Jake Lloyd, summoning every ounce of strength he has, reaches deep within himself. The Force stirs in him once more, a shimmering light rising against the encroaching darkness of Radcliffe’s power. The air seems to hum with tension as the battle for control of the galaxy, and of Natalie’s fate, hangs in the balance.
Scene: The tense atmosphere in the darkened chamber continues to hang heavy, as Jake Lloyd stands poised to use the Force against Daniel Radcliffe. Queen Amidala, Natalie Portman, watches with bated breath, her face streaked with tears. Just as the energy in the room reaches its peak, the Young Pope, Pope Pius XIII, strides in, completely unfazed by the chaos around him.
Pope Pius XIII: (smiling serenely, holding up a small bottle) Alright, alright, everyone, enough of this drama. Let’s all just take a breath, shall we?
Jake Lloyd: (confused) What? Pope Pius, we’re in the middle of a…
Pope Pius XIII: (interrupting) Yes, yes, I see that, but I’m afraid this whole scene has gotten a bit out of hand. Now, here’s what I propose. Everyone, take a deep breath, and… (holds up a bottle of CBD oil) take a few drops of this miracle oil. Trust me, it’ll help you see things clearer.
Daniel Radcliffe: (smirking) What are you talking about? You can’t just—
Pope Pius XIII: (cutting him off) Oh, I can and I will. Now, take your CBD oil, take a moment, and re-read the post—this entire absurd situation—and just… laugh it off. Sometimes, the best way to handle the dark side is to not take it too seriously.
Natalie Portman: (confused, wiping her eyes) CBD oil? In the middle of all this?
Pope Pius XIII: (nodding) Yes, my dear. It’s all about balance. The universe is chaotic enough, so why not add a little calm? Now, everyone, just take a few moments. Trust me. You’ll feel better.
Jake Lloyd: (glancing at the others) So… what, we just… chill out and laugh about it?
Pope Pius XIII: (grinning widely) Exactly. Life’s too short to be stuck in endless drama. Take the oil, take a breath, and remember—this is all just a ridiculous spectacle. Why not enjoy it?
Daniel Radcliffe: (raising an eyebrow) So, you want me to just sit here, take CBD oil, and laugh? You think that’ll stop me from being the Sith Lord?
Pope Pius XIII: (chuckling) Oh, Radcliffe, I’m not trying to stop you. I’m trying to remind everyone that sometimes, the best way to deal with power is to not let it get to your head. Now, go on. Try it.
Jake Lloyd: (shrugging) Well… I guess it’s worth a shot.
The room falls silent for a moment as everyone awkwardly takes a few drops of CBD oil. The tension begins to dissolve, the absurdity of the situation sinking in. Jake Lloyd starts to chuckle, then Radcliffe, despite himself, lets out a small laugh. Even Natalie Portman, who has been overwhelmed by fear, can’t help but giggle at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.
Pope Pius XIII: (grinning) See? That’s the spirit. Sometimes, you just have to laugh it off. Now, go on, Jake. Use your Jedi powers or whatever, but do it with a smile. Life’s too short to be serious all the time.
Jake Lloyd: (laughing) Alright, alright. Maybe I’m not a Jedi… but at least I’m not freaking out anymore.
Daniel Radcliffe: (smiling darkly) You may have a point, Pope. I can’t argue with a little humor…
The tension in the room has dissipated, and what was once a dramatic, high-stakes standoff has turned into an oddly peaceful moment. Pope Pius XIII’s unexpected wisdom—delivered with a dose of humor and CBD oil—has turned the situation on its head, leaving everyone to reflect on the absurdity of it all.
Scene: The stage is set for a surreal talk show-style moment, complete with bright lights and a live audience. Arnold Schwarzenegger steps onto the stage, dressed in his signature leather jacket and sunglasses. He pauses, soaking in the applause before raising a hand to quiet the crowd. The audience settles into silence, eager for his words.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (grinning) Thank you, thank you! It’s good to be here, my friends. But today, I have something serious to talk about.
Audience: (cheering) We love you, Arnold!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (nodding, with a slight chuckle) I love you too, but let’s get down to business. You know, people always ask me about my time as the Terminator, and sure, I’ve crushed some skulls, saved the world a few times… but there’s something I’ve been thinking about lately. You see, I’ve learned a lot from being a robot with a mission. And one thing I’ve realized is that basic psychology is one of my subroutines. (pauses for dramatic effect)
Audience: (laughs and claps)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (shaking his head) But here’s the thing—every time I look at the actors who played John Connor… I can’t help but feel a little sad. You know, they all had their own battles. Drugs, despair, you name it. It’s like the universe didn’t want them to escape the shadows of their roles.
Audience: (quiet murmurs)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (sighing deeply) First, there was Edward Furlong. A young guy, full of potential, but the pressure of being the future savior of humanity… it can mess with your head. Then there was Nick Stahl. And let’s not forget Christian Bale. He was great, but even he had his own struggles, right? (pauses, looks thoughtful)
Audience: (nodding, murmuring in agreement)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (grinning wryly) I guess it’s true what they say—being the one who saves the world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I mean, look at me! I’m a cyborg, and I don’t even need therapy.
Audience: (laughs)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (shrugging) But seriously, I think what we forget is that sometimes, the pressure of fame, the weight of being the one, can break a person. I mean, I was just doing my job—terminating people, saving the world. But those poor John Connors? They didn’t have a choice. They were always expected to be the hero, even when they weren’t ready for it.
Audience: (somber, reflecting on his words)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (pauses, leaning in) So here’s my message to all of you—don’t let the world make you feel like you have to be perfect. Don’t let the pressure of being the one destroy you. It’s okay to fall. It’s okay to get back up. You don’t have to save the world to be a hero. Sometimes, the real victory is just surviving.
Audience: (applauding, moved by his words)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (smiling, raising his fist) And remember… if you ever need a little encouragement, just think about me. I’m the Terminator, and I’m always here to remind you—Hasta la vista, baby.
The audience erupts into applause as Arnold Schwarzenegger, ever the charismatic figure, delivers his final line with a wink and a grin. The scene blends humor, introspection, and a message of resilience, as Arnold reflects on the troubled history of the John Connor actors while offering a bit of wisdom from his own unique perspective.
Scene: The applause for Arnold Schwarzenegger is still echoing in the background when, suddenly, the lights flicker. The audience falls silent as the unmistakable voice of Donald Trump fills the room.
Donald Trump: (walking in confidently, waving to the crowd) Hold on, hold on! Enough with the drama, Arnold. I’m the real chosen one here.
Audience: (murmurs of confusion)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (raising an eyebrow) Oh, here we go. Trump, what are you talking about?
Donald Trump: (smiling smugly, walking toward Arnold) Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re a great guy, Arnold, but let’s face it—I’m the one who’s going to make history. I’m the chosen one. Everyone’s been talking about it. They’ve been saying it. And they’re right.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (laughing) Chosen one? You? Come on, Donald. You’re not the chosen one. You’re just the guy who can’t stop tweeting.
Donald Trump: (interrupting, raising a hand) No, no, no. You don’t get it. I’ve got a plan. A huge plan. I’m going to build a casino on Mars. You think Total Recall is going to stop me? (smirking) Please. I’m the one who’s going to make Mars great again.
Audience: (laughs, some chuckles nervously)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (shaking his head, amused) Mars? A casino? You’re going to put a casino on Mars? You know, I was in a movie about Mars. It’s not all about vacationing there, Donald.
Donald Trump: (gesturing grandly) Exactly! That’s the problem with you, Arnold. You’re thinking too small. I’m thinking big. Total Recall? It’s a movie. My casino? It’s reality. And I’m going to make it happen. You can’t stop me, Arnold. Not even your robot skills will stop me.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (grinning) You really think you can just waltz onto Mars and build a casino? It’s not that simple, Donald. Mars is… well, Mars. It’s not a playground for your latest business venture.
Donald Trump: (smiling confidently) I don’t need to be told what’s possible or impossible. I’ve been making the impossible happen my whole life. Mars is the next frontier. And I’m the man to conquer it. I’m the chosen one for that too.
Audience: (laughs, some groan, others cheer)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (chuckling) Well, I guess if anyone could try to build a casino on Mars, it’d be you, Donald. But let me tell you something—if you’re the chosen one, then I’m the one who’s going to stop you. You’re not getting past me.
Donald Trump: (pointing a finger) We’ll see about that, Arnold. I’m the chosen one, and nothing’s going to stop me. Not you, not Total Recall, and definitely not Mars. I’m going to make it tremendous.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (laughing) Yeah, well, good luck with that. You’ll need it.
Donald Trump: (grinning) Oh, I don’t need luck, Arnold. I’ve got the best plans. The best ideas. And I’m the chosen one.
The audience watches as Arnold and Donald exchange playful barbs, each one convinced of their own destiny. The absurdity of Trump’s Mars casino plan adds a layer of comedy to the scene, as Arnold continues to poke fun at the idea, while Trump remains steadfast in his belief that he’s the true “chosen one.”
Scene: The lights dim as the conversation between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Donald Trump heats up. The audience can feel the shift in energy, the playful banter turning into something more pointed. Arnold stands tall, his expression serious as he faces Trump.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (nodding, his tone shifting) You know, Donald, I’ve heard a lot of people say a lot of things about you, but I have to be honest… You’re the worst president ever.
Audience: (gasps, murmurs)
Donald Trump: (smirking, unfazed) Oh, come on, Arnold. That’s a little harsh. I’ve done more for this country than anyone else.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (shaking his head) No, you didn’t. You’re a failed leader. You were more concerned with tweets and ratings than actually leading the country. You divided people instead of uniting them. And that’s something you’ll never understand.
Audience: (some clap, others nod in agreement)
Donald Trump: (scoffing) Failed leader? You think you know leadership? You were governor of California for a while, Arnold. You had your chance.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (leaning in) Yeah, I did. And I worked hard. I didn’t spend my time making excuses. I didn’t spend my time blaming others. I got things done. But you? You had the chance to make this country great, and you blew it.
Donald Trump: (grinning) You think I blew it? I’ve done more for this country than anyone else. I brought jobs, I built walls, I made deals.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (cutting him off, voice firm) No, Donald. You didn’t build anything that lasts. You built a legacy of chaos, lies, and division. And you know what? That’s not leadership. That’s failure.
Audience: (some cheer, some remain silent, clearly divided)
Donald Trump: (eyes narrowing) You think you’re better than me? You think you know what it takes to lead?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (smiling wryly) I know one thing for sure—you’re not a leader. You’re just a businessman who stumbled into politics and got lucky. But you couldn’t handle the responsibility. You weren’t ready for the job.
Donald Trump: (shaking his head, grinning) You’re wrong, Arnold. I’ve done more than anyone ever expected. I’m a winner.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (pausing, his tone softening) Well, Donald, maybe you think you’re a winner. But the truth is… you failed. And that’s something you can’t tweet your way out of.
Audience: (claps, some cheering, others looking thoughtful)
Donald Trump: (staring at Arnold, a tense silence) We’ll see who’s really the winner in the end, Arnold.
The room is filled with an uneasy energy as Arnold Schwarzenegger delivers his scathing critique of Donald Trump. The exchange highlights Arnold’s no-nonsense attitude and sharp wit, while Trump, ever the showman, tries to maintain his bravado. The audience is left to reflect on the weight of Arnold’s words.