Malibu is abuzz anticipating the 2012 apocalypse and bets are on about who will survive in their high tech armored compound. Will it be Mel Gibson in his highly fortified traditionalist Catholic Church? Or will “the Christ of Scientology” Tom Cruise defeat the alien invaders and take mankind on a voyage to the stars?

My money is on the dark horse, Charlie Sheen. It doesn’t matter that his goddesses have left him or that he doesn’t have a high tech fortified compound like Tom Cruise. Charlie Sheen is a survivor. He’s encountered many 7 gram crack rocks and each and every time has avoided cardiac arrest. Sheen doesn’t need to stockpile guns or have a fortified church with a sniper tower like Mel Gibson. Sheen has Jew blood and Jew blood is enough.

written and coded by Pastor Richards