Gracia Plena Mel Gibson
Title: WHITE LAW ROTHSCHILD
Genre: Comedy, Satire
Opening Scene:
(Overture: Big Balls by AC/DC plays over grand slow-motion shots of an opulent Rothschild gala.)
FADE IN:
A massive 18th-century European estate. Chandeliers glisten, and masked aristocrats waltz through an absurdly extravagant ballroom, complete with golden champagne fountains, synchronized peacocks, and a live performance by an orchestra of cloned Mozarts.
JACOB ROTHSCHILD, 88 but spry, adjusts his cravat as he welcomes his guests.
JACOB ROTHSCHILD
(“serious but mischievous”)
“Welcome, elites, to another of our legendary Rothschild Balls, where secrets are spilled, alliances are forged, and—most importantly—we flaunt our unfathomable wealth for no real reason. Cheers!”
(A loud cheer erupts. The party is in full swing.)
SCENE 2: ENTER THE OUTSIDER
Meanwhile, WHITE LAW ROTHSCHILD, Jacob’s distant American cousin (a bumbling, beer-chugging Texan played by Will Ferrell) arrives in a tacky cowboy tuxedo, clueless about aristocratic etiquette.
WHITE LAW
(“way too casual”)
“Y’all, this sure ain’t no Applebee’s Happy Hour! Hey, where’s the Bud Light keg?”
(The room gasps. A monocle dramatically falls into a champagne glass.)
Jacob sighs, rubbing his temples.
JACOB ROTHSCHILD
(“exasperated”)
“White Law, you absolute ruffian. This is not that kind of ball. This is a proper Rothschild Ball, with grace, dignity, and absolutely no—”
(At that moment, Big Balls by AC/DC blasts from the speakers. White Law has hijacked the sound system.)
WHITE LAW
(“yelling”)
“Y’all ever hear this one? It’s a CLASSIC!”
(Cut to confused aristocrats attempting to headbang in powdered wigs.)
SCENE 3: THE CONSPIRACY TABLE
Jacob ushers White Law to a secret meeting room, where top billionaires discuss the future of global finance. Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and a lizard person in a monocle sit around a mahogany table.
ELON MUSK
(“smug”)
“If we digitize currency further, we can finally get people to believe Dogecoin is real money.”
LIZARD PERSON
(“hissing”)
“Yes, but what of the balls? The balls must continue…”
(White Law, completely misunderstanding, chugs a beer.)
WHITE LAW
(“belching”)
“Boys, I don’t know about global domination, but y’all sure throw one hell of a kegger!”
(A stunned silence. Then, laughter erupts. The elites love him.)
SCENE 4: BALLS TO THE WALLS CHAOS
As the party escalates, things spiral out of control:
- The synchronized peacocks break into a full West Side Story dance battle.
- White Law starts a drinking contest with Jeff Bezos, who turns out to be a lightweight.
- A rogue Illuminati member reveals that the Rothschild fortune is actually just Monopoly money and vibes.
Jacob, horrified yet impressed, watches as White Law wins the crowd.
JACOB ROTHSCHILD
(“whispering”)
“Perhaps… perhaps we’ve been doing it wrong all along.”
FINAL SCENE: THE NEW ORDER
The next morning, the ballroom is in ruins. Aristocrats lie passed out in fountains, wigs are stuck in chandeliers, and peacocks sleep off their hangovers.
White Law, in Jacob’s golden robe, sits on the main throne, sipping an energy drink.
WHITE LAW
(“victorious”)
“Alright, folks. From now on, the Rothschilds ain’t about world domination—we’re about WORLD PARTIES! Open to all, beers on me!”
(A cheer erupts. Jacob sighs but nods approvingly.)
FADE OUT:
(Big Balls reprises as credits roll, featuring bloopers of aristocrats failing at keg stands.)
MY HEAD JOE
my father ELONGATED MY HEAD
in an Egyptian RITUAL
my son Nat hates me
my nephew David thinks he is Jesus
they didn’t want to graduate from EVIL university
My daughter Princess Leah
tried giving “le baron” some group thearpy
it didn’t work
I don’t want to inherit your damn rape throne Dad. I want to put you in an old folks home. You are unfit to be our family Patriarch.
I believe in God, only I spell it Rothschild
The China Social Credit System is working so well:
now we are ready to use it for the rest of the world….but my damn nephew David wants to save the world instead of enslave it.
my damn nephew is a tree hugging hippy
Hey Rothschild, I’ll be back.
with RFK and the RICO act